Why do church buildings get bigger?

I thought the building quaint and the size perfect to get to know people but now as all other churches have done before there is going to be a reconstruction. Why not use a fifth of the amount and plant a new church? Or better grow 5 new churches?

On the right track

After getting the air-con a chemical wash, it's running like new.:) I've just emailed my brother the installation instructions on my ido wc. These came in DHL yesterday which included the new washers for the loo for free. That's what I call a life-time of good service. Hopefully after it's fixed, the water bill will reduce significantly.

What was pleasant was being invited to another two christmas parties. Today we take some friends out to lunch.:)

Christmas isn't Christmas

Strange how it's december and it just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. Yes there's the orchard road lights, yes we've bought some presents...carolling practices have begun, ....many have gone for a holiday or are on holiday...maybe it's time to put on the Christmas cheer, including the decorations and plan the parties:) one for the families, one for the neighbours, one for the du jia home where we will carol, and one for the choir on the carolling night:) That sounds more like the spirit of christmas, got to get started now. :) Christmas isn't christmas till it happens in your heart.:)

Spread the love around

I had a lovely anniversary dinner yesterday and lovely roses during the day. Can't believe it's been fourteen years and if you add the seven years courtship, twenty one years in all. They have been the happiest years of my life. Today after sending the two boys to work and school, I decided to spread the love around.

I called up a lovely lady, had breakfast with her and told her my plan to cheer another lady up. She had left the choir upset and I felt guilty for not showing them enough love. So the former called the latter's husband and asked for her location, then I went to ntuc and bought chocolate and fruits and came home to make a lovely basket. We surprised her and sang jingle bells and i said "christmas is here" and presented her the present. She had tears in her eyes and we hugged her.

Everybody needs love.

Smell of smoke

Today we come home from mama's house and i smell a strong stench of smoke from the maid's room. She says its just the stale smell from closing the window while we were out.:( I had brought the salt bake chicken and the left over noodles over for lunch but it wasn't served while i was there so I went into the kitchen to look for it and it lay on the counter with most of the chicken meat burried under the noodles. I brought it over to eat it, so I ate it seeing a frown on the maid's face. I tell my mother she's been given enough of food she does not have to eat what i intended to have for lunch. My mum had cooked yong tau fu in tao chio sauce, 3 fried fice, fried veg and a soup I requested but only 3 mouthfuls of chicken and 2 fish balls inside. The maids claimed that was all the chicken left they had shreaded it all. It just gets my blood boiling when they lie and try to hide food.

The hot water light was on but when i questioned the maid if she turned it on this morning before going out, she denied and said it was off when she left. Then who turned it on?

Do you love me? I love you...since the beginning

It's raining outside but for the first time i feel safe, calm and happy. After doing some quiet time, I know I am in good hands. Do you love me? i am asked I love you since the beginning.

I remember my talk with God when I was a teen. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just wanted to love people. Now I realise it's easier to be part of a group or community and do it. So the choir has chosen to go out to families and sing christmas carols. I'm quite sure God will bless the act of kindness and cheer during a season of uncertainty and gloom.

Then I have to find time to get a cake to celebrate 4 birthdays, make some phone calls, invite some out to coffee and shop and wrap christmas presents.

The crying is over

Today is the first day Barney did not cry when he got to school.:) I had a chat with the principal of the school yesterday and she advised me to not give in to Barney's cries and provide him with alternatives. So as i drove him to school and requested his song to be played, i told him he has to wait till we drop daddy off. The smart boy tells me as soon as Tim gets out of the car "daddy dropped, song now" I say which song? and his reply is "Rudolf" . We hear it through and he says "again" and i tell him "ok it's mummy's song first then yours" so I got to listen to a lovely worship album then instead of putting his song on i sing "old macdonald". As he stepped into school today, the chinese teacher is conducting a sing-along-action song and he's distracted with the activity. I'm glad the teachers have been so kind to cater to Barney's needs so i pass him over to a teacher and wave to the other who months "wow no crying today" and i smile and say thanks.

Today i got a call from a new prospective student's mother. So i am encouraged to be a better teacher. I also get an invite to a house warming cum new baby party. hooray:)

Managing people

Most people want to know they are cared for, some have needs or requirements for them to render respect, many want to be led to a better place, and some after soul searching find their calling some where else and move on.

So i try to answer the call to "feed my sheep". Due to the many individual needs, i manage to meet up and talk to a few. Then i meet up with other shepherds who also help me to see how our society needs to have more "odd" people who speak up, who get irritated with people who do not fight for right, who are concerned for a more compassionate society whether in law or in daily living being forgiving of people's flaws and take the trouble to point them in the right direction or to show them a better alternative to life. My eyes are opened and i try again.

Faith without action is dead. I ask God for a clear direction and wisdom and i see little steps of love.

Catching up with friends

I'm looking forward to meeting up with another friend today. So even searching for wrapping paper that's gone missing doesn't irritate me as much. So i smile inside because catching up with friends bring such joy.

Barney loves the Jingle bells CD i got him and requests "again please" for the upteened time, but his face changes as soon as he sees the familiar road to school and his begging "mummy, mummy" breaks my heart again. So i reassure him i will be back and then wave bye. I tell myself he will be better off knowing how to socialise with other kids in school.

The day before i had lovely tea with the sweetest of friends and sugee cake to take home and share with the neighbour. Yesterday mum and i had kopi with a stick of 'you tiao'. Today it's dinner surprise and tomorrow a home cooked dinner with my secondary school friends. Mmm..lovely.

Stuffy cold

What makes us sick? Change of weather, germs, cold air-conditioning, unbalanced diet.. whatever the cause the effect makes my head feel heavy, my nose watery, and its an effort to stay positive and happy.

Still i am grateful the hubby has taken the baby out for lunch and i finally savour the solitude and rest. Get some lunch and then settle with a good book.

Season for change?

Finally the heatiness from the inbalance of too much "yang" food from the holiday is starting to balance out as the large ulcer on my lip is getting smaller. Strange it took almost the same amount of time to recover from the holiday. Glad I had a chance to catch up with a friend yesterday after a year of not seeing her. The time apart seems to make our friendship more precious. Most things have a season and the question is whether it is time to build more friendships. Her take on it is to remain open and take things as they come. I guess I could be more proactive instead of waiting for things to happen.

Barney's seems to test every boundary we set. Every "no" seems to egg him to see if we mean what we say. The "sweet" reward only worked once after which he throws all toys on the floor and refuses to pick them up. The "mummy's going to get mad" worked twice then he counters it with right "kong kong" will deal with the naughtiness. My friend tells me I cannot use the get mad idea any more. I just hope the throwing things on the floor will only be for a season.

So the impetus to be better at playing the piano, conducting the choir, disciplining my baby, teaching kids, having another child seems to remain unchanged. When I check with Jesus, he smiles and says "do them with love".

Listening beyond words

Tim was away to see to his project on micro enterprises. Barney asked for daddy everyday until he could answer his grandma. "Daddy work. Take airplane." During this time, he clung more tightly and slept closer to me, with one leg over my leg. I sms his daddy every chance i got and got a response almost immediately each time.

Tim had arranged for us to meet grandpa on sat for dinner. So after Barney's afternoon nap, we packed up and went over. Waiting outside, pressing the buzzer, there was no one at home, so i called grandpa. He was over at shangri-la, he said come over and get the key, open the house and just leave the key and go when you are done. I thought since we made the trip to have dinner with grandpa, we might as well stay for dinner. So I valet parked (as the car park was full), and trooped us down to the cafe for an a la carte meal. Baby enjoyed the food and ate a lot so dinner went well. The chef made beautiful cakes; so i know where to get Barney his 2 yr old birthday cake. Do i eat at hotels often? The last time was last christmas when tim's exboss was in town. We got to meet the extended family after dinner.

My mother stayed at my place while Tim was away. She took baby to church while I rushed to choir. She was beginning her depression cycle, due to dad cutting her allowance. So on Monday, we dropped baby in school and we went for breakfast at kopi-tiam and then to the hair shop for a wash and blow and massage( a new service the shop added to lure customers to come again). The hair dresser told me you need a touch up for your colour, and your natural curls are coming up, and tonic is good for hair fall. I stuck to my wash and blow though i did get some shampoo and hair revitaliser.

Barney's cousins came to play with him on monday evening. He pulled his boat while Mischa filled the boat up with cars. Then they did colouring. Mischa drew some pretty flowers but Barney coloured over them. Barney showed how he could bounce the ball, throw and kick it and Mischa did vice versa. Then Matty came and rushed Barney over to sit in the big chair and read a book with him.

We went to Jumbo seafood for dinner because it was my older brother's birthday. Barney ate a lot which pleased everyone, except Mischa who could not stomach much of the oily deep fried dishes as she was starting a cold and cough. I signed thinking my older brother had agreed to take care of the maid while we were on holiday, and he likes chilli crab.

Tim arrived home this morning. Barney knew the sound of his shuffling keys outside the door and yelled "Daddy daddy!" Then he refused to let Tim out of his sight, insisting daddy carry him even to the shower if he was going there. So we brought him out for some won ton mee breakfast and drove down to AA to get an international licence.

The maid strangely only fed baby soup for lunch and said he ate a lot for dinner yesterday so i insisted that she add some rice in the soup and cut a pear and wash grapes for the boy. Daddy and baby are now having their afternoon nap.

I read my email and notice that the choir administrator had ignored my request to conduct one original piece "The river of life" and has offered 2nd choice to the next best conductor. I remember the time when i listened to every small voice suggestion to do good and I remember at the end of my efforts when I had done all, a river of refreshing water gushed from the bottom of my gutts and flowed out my eyes, nose mouth and head. So i close my eyes and the small voice tells me to give more to all.

face lift vs heart transfusion result mind transformation

Barney's daddy gave him a hair cut yesterday, the result was horrendous because it looked similar to a parang cut lawn with large holes all over. We agreed to take him to the professional kiddy barber immediately to remedy the situation. Luckily the barber managed to salvage Barney's hair trimmed down to a crew-cut, save the hole on the left of his forehead. Barney went to school today and the teachers didn't recognise him. My baby..i wanted to cry.
So we agreed that he will go to the barber from now on.

The choir is morphing into a new creature. Besides purifying the sound and strenthening it, the new director has read the parable of the sower to the group, hoping that we will take it and somehow God will allow us to be fruitful 30, 50 or 100 fold. So i looked into my email and i see more members being deployed to take on more responsibilities. I make an attempt to make some decisions but i am advised to just follow the directions given by others. Let's combine carolling with the youth as the group is rather small at christmas time due to holiday plans. Then we can try out the buddy system. Overuled by the cell groups are being deployed to do carolling at homes, so if numbers are small, they will combine with other cell groups. Let's not give christmas presents to each other, instead let's do a collection and contribute the sum to cambodian children in need of school fees. Overuled by it has already been decided we give to a charity sponsoring one table for the poor this year. So what you might consider is an outreach to Cambodia next year, members can do this together and bond, meet the children personally and be moved then to give directly. Let's give guru a love offering for teaching us, i think there is no pay in dec cos the schools are closed. The advice is you must go through the proper channels, write an email to state amount and reason. I say it's better I give personally.

Tim's leaving for India tomorrow morning. I feel how Barney feels when he's put in school.

It has started to rain outside. The thunder rumbles. The shower of rain hisses down. Another loud clap and lightning follows. A cool breeze ensues. I want to cry but my heart hurts.

I do my quiet time and God tells me I am part of this community and many would like the lime light to lead but there is also space for people to do the smaller supportive things, and some times it is better to give people your love personally rather then throw money at the problem. Tim also has a night flight instead of morning so we get to spend breakfast together and fetch baby together and do the supermarket shopping together. Baby did not sleep in the afternoon so he was really tired and fell asleep while sending daddy to the airport. This allowed me to go for a stimulating mind challenging talk. God is good:)

Building up

I attended a masterclass yesterday, being invited by my teacher to pick up new ideas for my teaching. Again i was amazed at the details that a master teacher is aware of, and the ability to translate his knowledge into words and action. In music, the ears have to be so acute to be able to pick out what is going wrong and then the brain needs to know how to achieve the correct sound to expedite the action. The teaching the concept and the technique required is necessary, then the student needs to try it out, the teacher assesses the student's attempt and gets him/her to practise the technique motion so that the student will know how to practise later before moving on to the next problem.

After that i watched a free concert played by 2 Spainish pianists. How the touch of the piano is so different depending on the title of the song. So the pieces to represent Don Quiote were played in a tone a lot more harsh to represent the humour of a life without direction and enlightenment. Whereas a life of identity and culture was played in a calm, confident, subtle, sensitive, clear tone.

My friend Morcher had brought 2 other friends to the concert. I realised that she's such a rare gem, always sharing, always trying to help; this time, hopefully her introductions will lead to more friendships and more helping one another grow. She's even volunteered her services to help the choir with a note-reading workshop, to fix the underlying problem of not being able to read notes. I will be faithful in the little things.

The Bigger Picture

I managed to watch "Monsters vs Aliens" yesterday after borrowing the dvd. Susan gets bigger after getting hit by an astroid. She conquers her fears and accomplishes great feats with her new found strength, and realises that living in the shadow of someone else's dream cheats her of her own life.

I was at choir practice today, learning from the guru, how to discipline the choir, how to put thoughts into action. "Most adults are fighting their own fears when learning something new, whereas it comes naturally to a child. Be calm when you learn. Don't be 'kan cheong'." Then the pastor reiterates "Be alert, be aware of yourself, be self controlled, do the right thing, being children of the light we will be ready." The trouble is it's hard waking up, until someone brings it to attention; or get hit by a meteor.:)

Some times seeing the bigger picture requires asking the right questions. For the choir, it is how does melding the choir and the worship team come about? The first answers are watch Godtube or you tube. Being exposed to different presentations of the same song, learning to differentiate, and discern what is good, what will work with this group. What does serving each other mean? Taking on some responsibility to help others grow. How do we get the church together? a combined effort, involve the youth, combine choir...expect great things from God and do great things for God..ok one step at a time.

Getting lost is time wasted

Barney and i visited the grand aunts on monday. Aunty Lucy had called several times during the week asking to see the boy. So we went to Ang Mo Kio, taking the SLE missing the Yio Chu Kang turn and going all the way to Yishun, got lost in the estate and then found a road to Sembawang and thompson. We finally get there and aunt Lucy says we ought to visit Aunt Annie cos she was warded in the hospital the day before for food poisoning. So we troop down to breakfast, bought some grapes for the aunt and got some more T-shirts for Barney who was also treated to chocolates, biscuits and 3 times on the car ride machine.

We get to Aunt Annie's and she's so happy to see us, she lets go of her 'lum-jum' and gets washed up. I also catch up with Lorainne who has the tummy flu and has to stay home, and get a glimpse of Jan. I scrurry Barney downstairs to play with toys and wait for my mum as she chats with Aunt Annie.

Barney has the tummy flu today. We were up since 2am as he slept, tummy churned and threw up 8 times. We brought him to the doctor after washing up wet poo. The doctor was surprized that he was still so energetic after the long night. The whinning and lying on the carpet, and wanting to be carried only appeared after we got home. I switched on you tube and played all his favourite nursery rhymes and he falls asleep in my arms.

I'm learning to not bring baby to visit the sick, and learning that i need to learn the SLE route before driving on it again, otherwise i realise getting lost is a lot of time wasted.

Projecting a happy future

The science centre [ke qi guan as i'm taught by Barney's chinese teacher] is a great place for kids of any age. Barney had a great time yesterday, imitating the T-rex at the door, then he watched the Bear movie, made a bear puppet, was given a chipmunk tatoo, and then treated to a science experiment with a polar bear coming out intermittently. Of course, Barney had the most fun calling for the bear to come out on stage, and the rest of the kids cheered as the kor kor and cheah cheah showed them how to freeze a banana and make it into a hammer etc..There were lots of kids from different schools celebrating children's day at the centre.

I went to the SAM museum myself last friday, as Barney fell asleep on the car ride there. Good to know there was a $50 000 grant given to the winning artist in a competition called Singapore Buffet. Mostly Nafa student entries but i'm sure if there were more publicity more people would have got involved.

Glad Barney's growing up in a place that encourages curiosity and fun, thinking and innovation.

Staying in the pink

Woke up yesterday with a churning tummy, head spinning, loss of appetite. Thought it was due to the fact that i didn't have my usual quota of rice the day before. Looks like it's time to get back to an exercise programme so i can eat my rice and not feel guilty. Anyway there was a spew of health articles in the papers, which i thought was alright but was bent on self medication. So after forcing down a piece of bread and some milo, i also downed a panadol and multivitamins, rested the day and wala! all better.

The thing that gets my tummy churning still is barney still crying as he steps into school. Bells go ringing and i have to swallow hard to wave bye see you later. Maybe i'll take him to the museum after lunch today, that should make him happy.

A society that lacks social skills

The sunday sermon was insightful as it was a challenge to be a KPO or a Busibody in the light of care and concern for people in our social circles, neighbourhood, work place and home. Strangely most people keep to themselves, thinking it is better not to be nosey about things. But to have any impact on others, one of the best ways is to get involved, especially through a personal relationship. We need more leaders to initiate activities that strenghten and encourages people, activities that show people we care; radicals who can ignore the stereotype and reach out and share abundant life, peace and joy that has been given.[1 Tess 3]

The next sunday, another pastor preaches Don't be a busibody, Work with your hands or have nothing to eat, Srive to live a quiet life, most of all LOVE your brother more.[1 Tess 4] Looks like the love is most important.

City Harvest Children's Day Concert

The teacher tells me the day before, the kids will go to church tomorrow. Being curious, i decide to attend. It was a long bus ride to jurong, and the kids were treated to a cheering contest, then a high energy concert, then a "magic" entertainment and a large man who amuses them with balloons and even gets into one himself, it continues with a puppet show and kids learning the concept that a friend loves at all times. 2 boys go on stage and are asked to choose which present he will give his friend. He is rewarded with a bigger present when he gives his friend the best present. Then the hippo story is told but Barney is hungry and starts to cry. I bring him outside and feed him the squashed bread talk bun i have in my pocket, then we go back to join the group who are getting ready to go home. I'm told on the bus, this is an annual treat and the church provides the whold experience for free. Wow, the extent of outreach!

Some of the kids sleep on the bus ride home and Barney naps in my arms.

The trouble with words

The more words we learn, the more we extend our experience. It's like music; the more nuances you find, the more feelings and meaning is released into our experience; but too much and it becomes crude, jarring. Then it can encourage, dishearten, enlighten, sicken, it can come alive when you enunciate, give different meaning depending on the accent or tone, it can cut, or sow peace..
So we are asked to love our neighbour. (being faithful in little things) and not love the whole world (only God can do this, it is His burden) but words will preserve the experience..

I am glad Barney's learnt "eat", "please", "no" and "good".
Not as happy when he spits, pinches, when he's "bad."
But no words required when he gives me a hug.

How do you love your fellow man?

I remember asking the question about 2 and half years ago:) and i remember when i got pregnant it was part of the answer to the question. God's sense of humour gets you at gut level. Loving a little man was a strange and new phenomena. You had to feed him, see if he had enough to eat, drink, see if he had enough brain stimulation, play with enough toys, read enough books, learn enough ABCs, revised enough old books, toys, ideas, develop some etc, then have enough to take a nap. whew.

So it is with people i guess. The choir has been energised by a kind friend who has helped to inspire, cajole, teach with the most wonderful sense of humour and i can only sit and sing with wonder and awe as she whips, polishes, extends, opens the gut, throat, then anchors the the butt and hones the sound in samurai slashes and swoops. Such that i feel humbled to even try to imitate. Still i have promised to try.

Breathe. Start with little steps.
Today's sermon be gentle, encouraging...
Thank God He loves me, just pray i can transmit His love to my fellow man.

Planning a holiday

Holidays have changed in their nature. Before it was on any spur of the moment and anywhere and do anything. Now it's how fun will it be for this little boy. And after pouring over the brochures, the answer is as long as we can enjoy it together, it's the right one.

The best is a hands-on interactive type vacation, with activities that keep the little one occupied. Similar to the zoo experience, i think a day out to the underwater world and petting some sea creatures sounds good. (sounds like sentosa or seaworld in queensland), a wet cruise on a float, some disneyworld rides, a farmstay hmm... sounds like more aussieland. Though i think a trip out to a water park in singapore or science centre or farm will be just as enjoyable.

Anyway rolling down east coast on a segway sounds like fun too.
A holiday, is to do something different every now and then.;)

yes is yes and no is no

Barney stayed home all yesterday to nurse a cold that he picked up when he had a bath instead of going to sleep. The boy has boundless energy even with a cold, running, then reading, climbing, then building, playing with his many trucks; and he demands company all the time. For a mother who needs time for herself to recover, it was exhausting. The good that did come out was Barney's ability to repeat the alphabet from A to Z and count from 1 to 10 and the new word "chop" goes with the new chop that prints good with a smiling teddy. So i sent him to school today, starving off his cries by singing his favourite nursery songs. With a betrayed frown, he insisted on bringing his 2 chinese books to school.

So often we have to bite the bullet, make a decision and take steps to follow through to grow. Yes Barney needs other people to interact with, yes he needs to let go of his Mammy, yes i need some time to do my own reflection to make sense of things, yes school is the answer but why does it make my tummy knot up and i sigh..i guess the truth is i wish i could be all things for this little tike, but i have to admit i can't, and i just have to trust that others will help me care for him.

The learning process seems to take forever.

I do get encouraged when i see people grow. This morning my friend has reported she has learnt to swim:)
I see another doing well with her young ones:) Time for me to learn to be a leader; according to a freind you have to learn to be all things at all times. It must be the hardest thing to do but i will try.

why are we stuck?

Reminds me of a U2 song...and i remember to refocus on brighter things...a beautiful day.
sigh..the renewing of your mind is a discipline in itself; and i remember it takes little steps to get the river flowing.

So i ask myself what would make family life better? organising the next birthday celebration.
What would make the hubby smile? a box of chocolates, a surprise box/list/basket
What would make baby laugh? playing catching, dancing, playing with cousins.

What would make choir better? more responsibility of leaders over welfare of members
What would make social life better? organise the next wellingtonian gathering
What would make my relationship with the maid better? Setting clear objectives and affirmation
What would make my relationship with the neighbours better? inviting them for a meal or to the next bbq.phew.

wah. ah..tim will be on hol in oct.
pray God will help me again:)

Leading

Looks like it is the time to spur one another on, to aim for the goal. The trouble is pushing one's self to take on the responsibdility, to let go of the fear of making a mess.

This morning, my hubby tells me "You need to discipline the boy yourself and not use others to hide behind. Don't tell him daddy says so when you mean mummy says so. Don't tell him kong kong will scold him, when you need to scold him, and mean it." So Barney went to school today after a long break fri to tue, tears, screaming grabbing my blouse at the school doorway as the principal takes him from my arms. But when i went to fetch him it was a whole different picture. He saw me, called out "Mammy!" and ran into my arms, having had a good day dancing, playing in the gym and i'm told having a long chat with the auntie in the kitchen. With all smiles he tells me school was "good" and at lunch he says "pasta nice" and rattles words like "table" "longan" "grapes".

Again i'm reminded to take on the mantle as a leader for the choir. It was easier staying quiet and letting others lead. But apparently the time has come for me to spur the choir on, take charge of the discipline, and push them toward the goal. The vision for choir is to be the light of the world. That's why we've been singing "Give me oil for my lamp", "carry the light","the mind of christ" "the servant song" and "you(Jesus) are the light".
I just hope God gives me to boldness to tell them.

Barney at the zoo

Tim took the day off and said we could put Barney in school and we could do whatever i chose. I couldn't bring myself to leave the baby in school so i decided we'd all go to the zoo. It was a good day. Barney gawked at the different animals, pointed, screamed "tiger" "zoo" "bird" "lizard" "turtle" and his final word was "nap" and fell asleep in his pram.

I really wish everyday could be filled with the same excitment and joy. Broke my heart to send him back to school today. The principal told me not to let him bring any more toys to school as he gets more insecure. I thought being able to share his toys would make him stronger. More and more i feel i need to be there to be around to teach him. I brought him home after sending tim to work and spent time just reading and watching "bob the builder", having breakfast, getting dressed slowly and enjoying the time getting ready. We got to school and he still cried. sigh.

Amazing this little boy would not let his daddy roll him forward if mummy wasn't beside him at the zoo. He'd want to hold my hand as we walked to the next animal exhibit. Maybe 4 hours is too long..sigh

Oil for the lamp

Songs always set me thinking. The choir is rehearsing the "give me oil in my lamp" and so i've decided anything musical gets me to light up. That makes it quite straight forward as i have got to look for courses, books, CDs, Dvds, people who love the subject to energise, invigorate, inspire and get me moving along. The trouble is me getting organised and focussed. Yes i need to set goals, a list of people to meet up with...glad barney's asleep so i have this time to set things up. Glad i've signed up for some abrsm professional training at the end of the month, next to look for books; so glad i get to learn from rose how to conduct. Then there are still goals to set for barney, how to get him to enjoy learning..(so glad he's such a joy,) at least i've bought "Bob the builder" Dvd and book to get him started on simple conversations.

Putting Barney in school

How do we know if Barney is ready to go to school? Yes it's only playgroup and he's only there for 4 hours in the morning. I thought perhaps i haven't talked to him enough about the topic so after sending his daddy to work today, i sat him down and told him why i thought it was best for him to be in school.
1) he'd be talking and playing with other children
2) he'd be learning how to behave in a classroom or kitchen with social pressure
3) he could share his toys (today he brought his digger and dog)
4) he wouldn't be just watching tv at home

Though he cried as the principal took him, he stopped quite quickly as he's brought to the kitchen to eat or drink something. He's 19 months old. That's the thing, part of me wants him to stay a baby, and part of me wants him to grow up.

It didn't make it easier when i read a short story about a governess who left her child in the care of another and looked after an aristocratic child. The story itself did not end so well because the aristocrat child did not remember her at the end and her own child died in a watery grave so she had to reconcile her conscience by digging him a grave and burry him in her heart. At the end of the day, how much love did you give to your child and how much love did he receive. Then only do we count how much love we share with others right?

I just hope Barney knows he's loved and adjusts to this new routine.
I just wish my tummy didn't have to churn and do the sommersaut whenever he cries.
I will pick him up later and take him to visit his grandpa and play with his cousin in the park.